The Lawnmower / Whitewater Man Of ACE
Posted by: ScottP in Whitewater Rafting, West Virginia, New River, ACE Adventure Resort on Jun 14, 2010
Next week, I turn 41 and I finally think that working at ACE has tapped into my inner outdoorsman. I feel like my mid-life crisis has taken a turn toward granola. No red convertible for me. My shiny new red riding lawn mower is enough.
Not known for my coordination, the riding lawn mower came with a class from my brother, Eric. He’s the burly one. I listened, kept my mouth shut and waited for the question and answer part of the lesson.
I hopped aboard and went to it. Oh yeah. I was wearing a helmet. Wasn’t my shining style moment, but with my luck, I was going to flip that sucker.
The whole time Ma Perdue was a nervous wreck. She obsessed about this thing and did the research. But as it sat in front of her, she went into a full-blown fit of C.O.L.S. or Convenient Old Lady Syndrome. COLS always surfaces when there is something she has absolutely no interest in.
My nephew, Hunter, is running around like a maniac as I am trying to wrap my mind around it. Gears. Blade down. Lean in. I really had to find my own rhythm with it. As I type this, I am staring at my almost perfectly manicured lawn.
Everything associated with ACE, I think, has slowly crept into my being by osmosis. Or is it mitosis? I always get them confused. Now, I have found myself enjoying the whole lawn thing.
Yesterday, I handheld Ma to the bottom of our yard - which is more level - for Mowing 101. She maintained her composure for a bit. I stepped in, chest puffed out, to coach her through it. Hunter was still running around like a maniac.
And it has made me one of the guys in the neighborhood. Larry, next door, said “Gettin' her done.” I had to translate. “Her” was the yard. So, yes, I was “Gettin’ her done.” Then I spit. That is what guys do. Another neighbor, John, told me how good “she” looked and asked me what brand it was. I stumbled because I had no idea. Had I ever fumbled the attempt at neighbor bonding. I felt like I did in seventh grade when I didn’t get picked for dodge ball. Gulp.
So I have decided to take this new outdoor persona and run with it. A friend of mine is coming to town in two weeks and we have decided to hit the Lower New. I haven’t rafted all season and it is time to get “on the creek.” I learned that rafting term from Julia.
So if you are not busy on Monday, June 28 come join me for some fun. Our raft will be the one with the hysterical laughter and scent of testosterone.
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