I don’t fit the demographic.
What I mean is, I’m not exactly outdoorsy. At my desk, I listen to Madonna, not Jack Johnson. I have made no bones about the irony of my employ in the outdoor industry. You see where I am going with this.
This week, there was a blaring example of my situation.
I was feeling antsy Wednesday morning and decided to look nice for Beth and Trish in the Marketing Office. Why not? They deserve it. Nice jeans. I thought a purple v-neck with a black cardigan would be slimming. I topped it off with my black, square-toe loafers.
I was having a good hair day.
I was in my office, busy as a beaver, when Benji Simpson from Bridgewalk comes in and invites us on a trip to the New River Gorge Bridge.
Again, why not?
I quickly got my act together and went to meet the group that I was joining. They were all dressed in hiking boots and down jackets with work gloves. I just shook my head, realizing that this is how the universe works for me. Sometimes you just have to laugh.
We get geared up. I failed to realize that my jeans were a bit snug. By a bit snug, I mean so tight I looked like a sausage. I couldn’t even lift my leg to put the harness on. I had to arrange it on the ground and step into it, squatting down to pull it up around my waist.
Tight jeans plus a snug harness sent all of the blood rushing to my upper extremities. Suddenly my posture was better and it got me in touch with my manhood.
Maybe that’s too much information.
We gathered at the bridge and do a group photo. I felt like I was on Sesame Street: “One of these things is not like the other. One of these things just doesn’t belong.”
But, of course, the group was a lot of fun. Bridgewalk itself is amazing and Benji tells you fun facts and stories the whole way. It was a sunny day and the panoramic views were spectacular.
At one spot, Benji told us that everyone loves taking a picture of their feet sticking out over the bridge, looking down on the river below. I have seen friends on Facebook post their own such photos. Their feet are usually wearing Birkenstocks or Chacos or hiking boots.
Not Scott. As I stuck the end of my loafers over the edge I was struck by the absurdity of the situation. Just to let you know, I have decided to keep a change of clothes and shoes at work for occasions like this. I still want to look good but, like the Boy Scouts, I need to be prepared.
Bridgewalk has been in the making for years and I encourage you to give it a try. My aunt who has relocated to Florida can’t wait for her trip in the spring to see it for herself. I do encourage booking ahead to ensure you get on the trip.
If you give ACE a call at 800-787-3982, we can get you set up. It’s open year-round.
Enjoy and dress appropriately.