As a reservationist, one of our responsibilities is to answer any questions guests have concerning their vacation. This is also where many guests unknowingly provide us with much needed comic relief.
I understand that you probably have never done anything like we provide, so really I am not poking fun. I can promise you that if I go to the Grand Canyon, the first thing I’m going to ask before I get on my donkey is how often do they fall off the cliff? Those folks have probably heard that question thousands of times and probably think it’s absurd, but for me, it’s a legitimate concern — so trust me, I get it.
I’d like to share with you some of our more unique questions that we’ve received, along with the answers:
- Do you get wet while rafting? As it is an activity that takes place in the water, let’s assume you’ll get wet, so wear your swimsuit.
- Are the rocks in the river real? No matter what your beliefs are regarding the creation of the earth, the rocks are very real, and we did not place them there. Mother Nature blessed us with perfect rock placement for great whitewater.
- Are there chains/tracks under the boat that pull you along? Nope, this isn’t Six Flags or Cedar Point. You will get your own guide to help you navigate the river.
- Are there any bugs that cause neurological disorders? I’m not an entomologist or a neurologist, so I’m really not sure. Bring your bug spray.
- How many bugs are there? 4,326. No, really I have no idea. Refer to #4.
- What’s the weather going to be on August 3rd? I’m also not a psychic or meteorologist, but you can check out the weather on www.weather.com and use our zip code 25879 to search.
- Can I bring a piano? If you can get it here, you can bring it. Be advised that instrument playing at campsites can draw crowds; please be prepared to offer hours of entertainment to your neighbors. Also quiet hours start at midnight.
- Is there a McDonald’s we can stop at during our river trip? No, but there is a Wendy’s. Just kidding. There are no restaurants or any other places to shop while on the river. It is a beautiful and remote canyon; why screw it up by adding a Wal-Mart?
- This last one takes the cake: Can I start my Upper Gauley trip by jumping out of a helicopter naked into my raft? No, and why would you want to?
I hope you got chuckle out of these, and that I’m not preventing you from asking any questions you still have. Don’t hesitate, that’s what we’re here for, and usually we’ve heard them all before, and if not, bring it on!