Many a blog lately is about ACE Adventure Resort’s new Welcome Center.
Brick by brick. Board by board. Shingle by shingle. The work continues. Extreme Makeover ACE edition but without Ty Pennington yelling in your face with a bullhorn. (I can’t enjoy the tenderness of that show because of his overbearing case of ADHD.)By the time the show is over I need a Xanax and a glass of Cabernet to come down.
Ty aside, the Welcome Center continues to progress. I don’t watch HGTV so the actual construction baffles me. I tried to Google construction terms to no avail. I hoped some of the terminology would have some comedic value but no luck. And the ones that did have that value were not printable. I love a double entendre but this is a family show. A screwdriver is a drink, not a tool. See where I am going?
It may seem like it has taken a while, but we want it done right, not fast. This isn’t Amish country where they raise a barn in a weekend while having three full meals and church services. I would love to go to Amish country even though my only exposure to it was the movie “Witness.” Harrison Ford dug deep in that role. I would love to churn butter. Wait. They don’t have electricity. Never mind.
So here I sit. Stifled and confused. I admire the time and energy and craftsmanship it takes to build this structure. It is simply out of my realm of understanding. My brother-in-law built a roof over the deck on my house last summer like it was nothing. He was measuring and sawing while I watched the “True Blood” marathon on DVR.
The only time I get even close to building anything is when I play Jenga. And that is usually a dramatic failure in my coordination. I build things with my emotions. I build confidence with a kind word. I build insecurity with a frozen stare. I build harmony with one of my patented hugs.
Oh. And I thought of two songs with “build” in the title. “Build Me Up Buttercup” by Foundations (ironic, huh) and “Love Can Build a Bridge” by The Judds. The Judds of the ’80s with the huge bangs and make-up by Sherwin Williams. I should remake it as “Love Can Build the New River Gorge Bridge.” Catchy.
The nucleus to my rambling atom is when you see the new Welcome Center, realize the work that went into it. A lot of talented people worked hard to deliver a great facility. Now I think I am going to go to Blockbuster and rent “Witness.”
