My Google Calendar is overloaded with things. Deadlines. Appointments. The last thing I want to worry about is a made-up, fake holiday like Valentine’s Day.You will not see me going out and buying a Ground Hog’s Day card. To me, Ground Hog’s Day is a movie, not an occasion. And Arbor Day. Is it ironic to buy an Arbor Day card made of paper from a tree? It totally challenges my newly discovered green attitude. We are killing trees to make cards made of trees for a fake holiday about trees. Confusing.
But I digress. This is about February 14th, and how ACE has just what you need for this so-called holiday.
For full disclosure, I have not had a true Valentine in years and own that. However, my barren heart still warms at the thought of the love of others. Visualize me dressed as Cupid in full leotard, wings and bow and arrow shooting my arrows of love. My cynical side sometimes refers to the holiday as VD for obvious reasons.
I am proud of my sex, but men aren’t exactly the most thoughtful. In turn, this holiday, in my opinion, breeds a lot of bad gifts. Don’t be like some guys I know and wait till the last minute and buy a Valentine’s Day gift at the Shell Station. And don’t be the guy who thinks a good gift is a vacuum cleaner or a Snuggie.
I enjoy my Snuggie, however, it does not scream, “I LOVE YOU.” It screams, “I like you and you seem chilly.”
While some women enjoy lingerie, it is really a gift for the man. And I am confident in saying no woman wants a Sham-Wow. The only thing you will be cleaning up after giving a Sham-Wow are her tears. Or your blood after she throws a vase at your cranium. My point is that there must be some thought put into the gift.
Consider me your Google Calendar today as I present you with a potential gift. At ACE Adventure Resort, the off-season is a perfect time for a romantic getaway. Alone. Cabin. Hot Tub. You see where I am going with this.
And if you plan it, the ladies go berserk. It shows thoughtfulness. And gives you some leverage the next time you are in the doghouse for forgetting a birthday or anniversary. I say take advantage of the opportunities to credit your love account to have some wiggle room when their is an unfortunate withdrawal.
And our area has a lot of great spots to visit since this is ACE’s off-season.
Swirl in Fayetteville is a great place with a sense of humor and great ice cream and pie. Visit Cathedral Cafe for great coffee and breakfast. Tamarack is always a nice spot that features dining and craft work from local artisans. And the scenery alone enhances the romantic vibe you are hopefully trying to create. Visiting the New River Gorge alone, with its spectacular view — regardless of the weather — is unmissable. Until you visit it, it is hard to really understand the vastness and workmanship that the bridge represents.
I encourage all of the men out there to stop playing Beat the Clock and call Brandi in the Reservations Office. She can take care of booking that cabin for you and regale you with many tales of her West Virginia upbringing. She might even convince you to do an activity of two while you are here. How about an ATV tour or a Zipline Canopy Tour?
Share with me your Valentine’s Day traditions. What was your most creative gift? Even better, what was your worst gift?
If I had a Valentine, I would give a Virginia Baked Ham. Nothing expresses my love like ham.
